Indulging in sweetness

And three (or two and a half) sweet things that I've been indulging in

If you know me, in person or through this writing, you will know I can be sarcastic and cynical. The origins of that trait are a defense mechanism that probably started in my childhood. Let's not get into that here, that’s a story for another day. 

While these traits serve a purpose, they can also be too much. Too much is a phrase I hate using, so I am being very intentional here. Towards the worst stages of my burnout, I felt too cynical. I was pickled in my own negativism. I would try to make my situation of drowning in metaphorical brine to be a "little funny, at least." I can't say it helped.

My burnout recovery has also been an exercise in learning to counter my cynical nature. One of the best remedies I found? Sweetness. Consuming something just for the sake of delighting in it. The whole point of the activity is to revel in the joy it brings me. No productivity, no requirements, no productivity requirements.

Finding more sweetness in life does include buying myself a cookie now and then because (that's it, that's the full sentence). It has also included adding more sugar into other diets: listening, watching, and reading. Here are a couple of sweet things from my diet to yours¹:

• Listening: I've been revisiting Kacey Musgrave's 2018 album, Golden Hour. I love that in this record she is entirely in-her-feelings and utterly unapologetic about it. She is in love with her future ex-husband (ouch), the natural world, her mother, and even love itself. There is power in being willing to be so open and direct about things that are so soft. Her next album looks like it will be a return to this form, and I can't wait²

Kacey’s album artwork is also gorgeous

• Watching: Netflix has the first Sakura Card Captors series. I loved that show as a kid… all frilly bows, cute outfits, magical mystery, and endless optimism. It's been such a gift to revisit it as an adult and indulge in the animated smiles and bright colors. Some people will say this is feeding the inner child, and maybe it is. There are things I still enjoy about it as an adult. I religiously watch the original Japanese version with subtitles, and that serves as a forcing function to put down my phone. You know that things will always work out in the end of the episode for Sakura and her friends. The story is still worth the watch. I always feel lighter after watching it.

• Reading: This feels like I'm double counting, and I kind of am³ After re-watching Sakura Card Captors, I found that the library carries the comics! I've supplemented my adult reading by going down to the kid's section of the library and picking up the next issue in my queue. I used to read so much manga as a kid. I loved the artistry, visiting such different and fantastic worlds, and the self-assured heroes and heroines. That magic is all still there. 

  

  Isn’t this the cutest?

I didn't realize I was balancing out my inner cynic when engaging in these activities. In my recovery, my heart and mind intuitively turned to sources of sweetness, like a horse turns to a salt lick. Observing my intuitive behavior, I realized these alternative sources for balancing out my inner brine need to be standard parts of my diet. This behavior certainly can't cure everything, there is darkness and sadness no sweetness can touch. 

Give yourself permission to indulge in something, even if it's for a little while. It may not be worth much, but I am giving you that permission here in this text. Maybe your diet could use a little sweetness too⁴

1. A list, again? I’m on a roll!

2. I also haven’t been able to get tickets to her concert, that pre-sale was such a stressful experience.

3. Whatever, this is my list.

4. In the form of a cookie or otherwise.